Are you still bothered by things that happened awhile ago? Do you still think about things you have done in the last few years, and wonder how you ever became that person. Do you still look back on old times, and think about how much fun you had..even though you know it was wrong? Do you ever wish that sometimes you could just have one more of those "oldtimes", and not let anyone know (including God)?Well I hate to break it to myself, but I find me thinking this stuff alot lately. Well not like ALOT.. but like, everytime someone brings up a memory of a party er something. Im just like, oh yeah, that was fun. Those were the days when I didn't have to miss out on things, because they went agaisnt everything I was for. Back when I didn't care and didn't so much have many beliefs. I know it sounds horrible, because im sapose to be happy with who I am now. Which I am, infact iv been the happiest these past 5 months then the last 2 years. I just, I don't know, I feel like im not a very good christian because I think these things.
I'v become a prisoner of my own past. It seem's that no matter how hard I try to escape it, I just can't forget everything. I mean, if at the time I thought it was fun and loved every minute of it, why 5 months later would it be any different? At camp my councilers said they don't look back on these times and think "oh they were a good time". But really, if you thought so at the time, why would it change..even if you have?
-alyson.lw
1 comment:
for real i mean if it wasa good time it was a good time... no one is denying that. God isnt going to hold your past against you and etierh should you.. im really proud that you are holding on you are a really strong person! i love you!!!!!!!!
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