Sunday, September 30, 2007

Life just kept getting in the way.

So, im about a month into grade 12, and so far so good. Nothing too exciting has happened. Its kinda stressful tho. Even tho I really only have Math and Biology to worry about this semester, Co-op is frustrating. Also worrying about universities and stuff. I remember when i was in gr.9 & 10 thinking "thank god I have lots of time to figure all that stuff out". Well now it's here and i have no idea what im doing with the rest of my life. Quite frankly life doesn't give you enough time to figure it out, and just when you think you have, life goes and throws you a curve in the road. I hope i figure something out soon, because im running out of time.

And other then school, my life is really complex these days. Some days I feel like i have it all together, and the next i have no idea whats going on. It's a wierd feeling for me because I usualy feel like im on top of everything, but recently it's like im at the bottom. Im finaly back into playing sports, which i would think should be good for me.. but its brought back out the "competivness" in me, and now i find myself getting more angry and frustrated with that. I have anger in my eyes, and suspicion in my voice. My eyes lie for me and my smile helps think everything is okay, but sometimes its not. I guess you can never win in life. I feel like im on a constant rerun of the first couple years of my highschool life. It's like im staring in the movie in back of my head, "This is everything iv always wanted; Life just kept getting in the way". Life seems to always get in the way of the things i want. It never seems to fail when I finaly feel like i have a hold on things, to put someone or something in the way of everything. Happens everytime.