Mhmm..

Haven't wrote anything in this in a while.
So Christmas was a good time. Got my guitar, not the pink one i wanted though, mines red, and nicer then the one I asked for so im not complainning. Hmm.. so breaks fun? Tonight milah and I hit up the pool hall and a bunch of creepy drunk old men were taking pictures of us and being huge creeps lol so we pealed. And I really don't feel good at the present time.
But anywho, about how I have nothing to say. ha well that sucks. I don't even know why I bothered to write this.

Alyson's Life List of Goals :

1) Guitar Lessons; Check.
2)Book permit test; Check.
3)Get a Job; Never.


Peace.

Cabaret.

Last night was stm's cab. It was so amazing! I had an awesome time and loved every minute of it!

Oh ya know..Stuff.

Im just so damn excited for school to end next week! I can't imagine I will go next after next wednesday. So im lookin at 5 more days until break!:) woo!. I can't wait till christmas to get all my new clothes! I love clothes so much. I can never have to many. Im getting so much for christmas I wont even be able to wear them all on the break probly lol. But oh well, i'll change more then once a day if I have too lol.

Anyways, so in my recent posts I may have sounded confused and such. But im not to sure I am anymore. I think i'v pretty well come to my decision of my prospective on life and such. So thats nice for a change.

C's Party. Heaty Scene.

more pics> www.piczo.com/alyson-leah

Dooley's.

Milah, Clarrissa,Sean, Jon & I pealed at lunch and went to Dooleys, to have probly one of the most funnest afternoons ever! Like it made me want to quit school and just hang out there all day lol. Anyways, unfortunatly, I have lost my touch at pool, and I think I lost like every game I played lol.

Heres some pics..

Anger; Forgivness; Forget

Today in CF, we discused anger and forgivness. Aparently my anger is visable to teachers, because Mrs.Steeves was like "Alyson I know your a hot-head, do you forgive people". I kinda thought she was just joking.. until she said she was seriouse because when she taught last year me I use to get angry in class. Which I informed her, if she thought that was bad..lol she doesn't know the half of it. But anyways, thats besides the point..

So after she asked me this, I never really thought about this before today. Now, I know I have an anger problem, like..atleast im willing to admit that. But I never knew I had a forgivness problem too. Now, when she asked me If I forgive people, or just let my anger eventualy fade out, I answered neither. Now, I mean like, if something happens between me and a person, I forgive them to the extent as im willing to put it aside and move on. But really, It still bothers me. There are people, conversations, and issues from YEARS ago, that I still remember, and although I got over it, It still bothers me. I mean like, if someone betrays your trust, your always gonna wonder "are they gonan do it again"? If someone lies to you numerous amounts of times, sooner or later, your not gonna believe a word that comes out of their mouth. I dunno, I guess with me it's just like, I can forgive, but I rarely ever forget. It's not my fault,I mean, Id love to forget all the shit in my past that doesn't really matter and probly causes half of my anger, but I just..cant. Maby someday, but I dunno. What ever.

See the spaces Inbetween; thats ME.

Why do I do this to myself? Can someone please tell me? I am so fucked up and confused. Like seriously, I don't know what im doing with my life. And I dont think I'll ever know. I just like, Don't understand anything right now. I am having all these thoughts and regrets and things of the sort. One day, im set on an opinion, and the next day im all "hm...I dunno man". Like it's stupid. But im super confused. Like, I want to be content with the opinion that makes me feel better, but how can you be content with someone you know is wrong? Most people like to do the right thing..Well see, thats where me & most people differ. I tend to enjoy doing what's wrong. Why? I have no idea. It's just who I am I guess.

Which brings me to my next topic. This year I have faced alot of thoughts based on "if a person can change". Once again, a portion of the year I believed a person could change, but also, I believed they couldnt. And now im at the stage where i'v believed, thought of and acted upon, both sides of everything. Now I just have to figure out which better suits me. What fun this will be? As if im not stressed out enough lol. FUCK. I have no idea, and I wish I didn't give a shit. But unfortunatly, I have to make a discision on who I am, because I only have a year and a half left in high school, then its out on my own. I don't like the whole, roller-coaster back&forth thing either. I think that just stresses me out even more. What ever I decide will be my final one because im really sick of all this shit, and im not gonna ruin my life over it.

Honors Award Thingy.

Hmm... :)

So, I use to really enjoy writing in this, and when I was bored, it didn't take to much time for me to come up with something to write about. But now, no matter how hard I try, I can't write anything. Iv lost my talent lol. Damnit. Oh well, Im sure I have better talents hidden somewhere under this thick skin. When I decide to reveal them, i'll let you know.

Mmm..Anyways, So life is just so over whelming these days. So much stuff going on. It's a good time though im enjoying it. I just don't even know where to begin with my life. Like jeeze.

It started snowing today, how delightful [lol yeah right, I hate winter so much]. I enjoy presents & no school though. :)

Hmm.. yeah so I guess theres seriously nothing to write about. Wow, my life is just THAT good that I can't complain in here like I usualy do. haha, well I sapose that's a good thing. Im not gonna complain that my lifes too good to complain about.
I have a academic exellence award thingy tomorrow night, so they'll probly be some pics up from that in the up coming week. Other then that, im just prayin for the weekend to get here faster.

Weekend Bitches.

Bonjour. Whats crackin? anywho.

Um, hmm let's see. Life's a good time. Im kinda fed up with alot of stuff though lately, and i'v been really stressed out. But, im join'ing boxing pretty damn soon. So that should be a good time.

So it's oficially december. Jayyyzz, hm.. like 23 days till Christmas? Pimp ass hoe! Im so pumped to get out of school, and get presents:) Wooot. AND je pense que 28 days till RB bitches! Aw hell yeah! I hate december, but love it at the same time! OOHHH MANN!!!im sOOOO excited! AHH!

So weekend what? Oh this weekend was a good time! Game, JJ's at like 10:30 last night? lol[let's all go to the bunks n shoot up]-mk lol, love you! , slept till 2:30 today(sleep well needed)..game, pool [kicked everyones ass]. OH LIFE, how I LOVE the<3.

MD,CS,AW

AW,MK