Why do I do this to myself? Can someone please tell me? I am so fucked up and confused. Like seriously, I don't know what im doing with my life. And I dont think I'll ever know. I just like, Don't understand anything right now. I am having all these thoughts and regrets and things of the sort. One day, im set on an opinion, and the next day im all "hm...I dunno man". Like it's stupid. But im super confused. Like, I want to be content with the opinion that makes me feel better, but how can you be content with someone you know is wrong? Most people like to do the right thing..Well see, thats where me & most people differ. I tend to enjoy doing what's wrong. Why? I have no idea. It's just who I am I guess.
Which brings me to my next topic. This year I have faced alot of thoughts based on "if a person can change". Once again, a portion of the year I believed a person could change, but also, I believed they couldnt. And now im at the stage where i'v believed, thought of and acted upon, both sides of everything. Now I just have to figure out which better suits me. What fun this will be? As if im not stressed out enough lol. FUCK. I have no idea, and I wish I didn't give a shit. But unfortunatly, I have to make a discision on who I am, because I only have a year and a half left in high school, then its out on my own. I don't like the whole, roller-coaster back&forth thing either. I think that just stresses me out even more. What ever I decide will be my final one because im really sick of all this shit, and im not gonna ruin my life over it.
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4 comments:
hey beautiful. Before you make your decision, I encourage you to ask people you know about their life decisions, and whether they're happy about where it got them. It's always better to learn from other people's mistakes and also their good decisions.
Remember, it's not just about life on this earth. Think further.
Where will you be in 5 years?
Where will you be in 20 years?
Where will you be when you're dead?
bonjour..yeah well, I like to make and learn from my own mistakes. I'v done a damn good job of it so far, so why stop now :)
And PS- 5 years from now I will be working my ass off in university; 20 years from now I will hopefuly have a family and a good job, and when im dead all be 6 feet under.
hey Alyson. it's not a bad thing to learn from other people. but it also goes the other way people can learn from you. you have such a testimony,and i know wether you like it or not God is going to use that somehow. you glow God's light even when you hate the world. you are searching for something. and Jesus is still waiting for you to realize it's him. i love you praying for you!
lol haha, even when I hate the world. That made me laugh.
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