She walked away, couldn't say why she was leaving; she walked away, she left all she has believed in.
Empty reasons for my past, excuses do not hold; why didn't someone warn me, to save me from myself.
Okay, I don't think you can ever escape your past. I've come to that conclusion. For some reason, day after day, all I can think about is thing's of my past. Now, don't get me wrong, I focus and think about my future everyday aswell, but that is normal, you should be thinking about your future when your my age. But your past, now thats not so normal. Like, I know what's done is done, and you can't change things no matter how hard you try. I just wish once I realized that, it wouldn't of ever bothered me again. But unfortunatly it still does. And im not just talking about the whole like, drinking and stuff scene. Thats only a minior part to this, but even exchanged words of the past, faded friendships, past marks in school. You'd be surprized how much of the past I can recover as though it were just last week. Not all of it bad, but not all of it good either.
I just don't know when I will learn to leave all of this behind me. A person once told me, your past is who you are. Who you were is who you become. No matter how old you try and no matter how much you think you'v changed, in the end, deep down, your still the person you always use to be, and someone you will be that person again.
I wonder if thats true.. hmm..we will soon find out, wont we.
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2 comments:
Hey Alyson,
Some deep musings on your blog. I personally subscribe to - I am becoming someone new in Christ- though I have days when I question if I have changed- God seems to show me fairly regularly that I am not the person I used to be. I too have regrets- yet I heard something once- which was- the best way to make ammends is to live differently.
-Jonathan
we all have regrets. but it's through Christ , by his blood that we don't have to live in guilt and condemnation! "there is no condemnation now for those who put their trust in you alone.we worship you oh Son of GOd."
we are redeemed because of Jesus.im not gonna pretend like i know how you are feeling right now. but i do know one thing for sure if you put your trust fully in Jesus, He's not gonna let you down!i love you and im here for you. im praying for you!
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