Have what you want; But like what you have.

Continueing from my previous post, I have had some time to think..about life and such. Iv had a little bit of time to try and figure things out. Now, things are not totaly figured out and put back together, although id like to think they are, but they are slowly mending back together. Things are slowly starting to look up for me these days. I know what I want, and what I don't want. I know what I have to do, and what I can't do, in order to achieve it.

I have finaly realized that, life isn't going to be perfect, life isn't going to be fair. There are always going to be complications, dislikes, & dissapointments. There is always going to be someone, pushing you, putting pressure on you, someone who exspects more then your very best. Someone who cares so much about you, that they want you to have even more then your capeable of having, more then they have, they want you to be more then perfect. And there are always going to be times when you let these people down, because..noone's perfect, noone can do better then their very best, noone can stand strong and not fall into the pressures of life. And then theres sometimes in life, where you have to learn to give up what you love, so you don't dissapoint someone who loves you. Somethings in life you think you can't live without, but really.. there just getting in the way of what you need so you can live.

It gets better, trust me.
It gets easier, trust me.
You'll always please everyone; I lied.

I have finaly decided to take my own advice. I have finaly realized that I can not do this by myself. I can no longer hide behind a smile. I can no longer pretend that everything is fine, and that i have it all together; when I dont. I need more. There has to be more. I am finaly willing to try. I have gotten back into the swing of things. Iv been slowly thinking about god, and christian values. And remembering how happy I use to be, how much less stress was on my plate, because I knew god would handle it. Recently iv just been trying to handle and deal with everything on my own, and you know what... It Just DOESN'T Work.