Wake Up Call.

"Your barried in your loss of innocence, wondering if you'll find it again.."

Everyone is searching for that innocence they lost along time ago. Let's face it, shit happens. People aren't perfect forever, people are not kids forever. People grow up, live their lives, and make mistakes. However; it isnt as easy to make mistakes as when you were little, and people said "kids will be kids", because they havent lost their innocence yet. Teenagers on the other hand, even adults, they screw up and noone can ever seem to forgive them.

But even threw it all, threw all the people that will look down on you for your mistakes, all the people who can either "forgive" but not "forget", or just not forgive at all..even after all those people have passed their judgments, theres still one person who will never pass judgement on you. He may be dissapointed, but he will never give up. He will never believe your a screw up, or worthless, or just a big mistake. Over the past couple months I have seem to forgotten this. Forgotten everything I believed in. Everything I lived for, everything that made me believe every mourning i woke up that i still had a chance to change, a chance to make a difference in not only my self but the world. God is the one person who will love you when it's all over. When its all not okay, after the rain falls and even after the sun goes out. In the song "After The World" by Disciple, it explains how much god loves us, and how he will never stop loving us, no matter what, even after the world is over. It wasn't until I heard this song the other day, that I even remembered who God really is. And what God has done in my life for so long.. how could I just forget him like that? Let a few mistakes and the loss of my innocence completly erase him from my mind. This song really spoke to me in powerful words, I think its my wake up call. I have been going down the wrong path lately, some to which it has been out of my controle. Sometimes, it takes more then strength to win the fight of life. Sometimes its way beyond self controle, its way beyond what your friends may think, what your family may think, or even what you yourself may think. Strength is all i can ask for, but I can only ask it of one person. And that person is someone I have been leaving behind in my life latly, so no matter how much strength i asked for, i was never going to recieve it. This time it's different, this time i have realized where i went wrong and the mistakes I've made on the way. This time im going to try, instead of telling people I am, when really i know damn well im not. I tend to do that.. lie, to cover up my life. I don't like knowing that people have me all figured out, because it happens alot in my life where people think they know me, but really have no sweet clue. I tend to lie, and hide behind a smile very well these days. My true identity has yet to be discovered. Im still searching for it myself.