Break Me

Have you ever, ever crossed your heart, ever hoped to die
Have you ever, ever fell apart, ever told a lie

This is the story of my life these days. Im so confused. I have no idea what I want. Well actuly, I know what I want, but I also know what I want and can't seem to have. It really is complicated you know, life. Sometimes I just think it sucks. Really, how is it that I can figure out a complicated 3D puzzel, or even put together a computer desk, without instructions..even though they are there if I need them. But the one thing I can't figure out, as hard and as much as I try, over and over again, doesn't come with instructions just to back me up when I get it wrong. Life is the one thing that should come with an instruction book.

Oh crap, I think I just realized the answer to my complaint. Life does come with an instruction book, a vey large one that many people choose not to read, because, like a map..people think they can find their way on there own. The instruction book i am refering to is the Bible.

Okay, this night just on keeps gettin more weird. I just recieved a letter in the mail. On the front of the envelope it didnt say who it was from, just that it was for me. I opened it, in curiosity, only to find that what was inside was exactly what i needed right now. It was a letter from TEC (teens encounter christ), that i filled out about my weekend at tec in may. At the top of the letter it says "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to prosper you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Hmm... I do believe God is trying to tell me something. And I do believe hes telling me to grow up, get my life together, stop giving up so easily, and to start fighting for what I believe in. I really just need to believe in myself. I am trying, I really am..but somehow I keep giving up on myself before I can even start to try.