The wonder of it all..is im living just to fall; more inlove with you.

Hello people,
So today our school religion/CF classes all went to church for Ash Wednesday. I wasn't planning on going, nor did I want to, but Felicia dragged me on the bus to go lol, So I went. When I got there I started feeling guilty because I hadn't been to church since Christmas. Right away I new the reason I had to be dragged into the church in the first place was being I knew that I talk up being a christian and what not, yet I hadn't been to church in almost 2 months. I was feeling bad and guilty for not going. As I walked down the aisle I had this sort of akward feeling, like the need to make everything a big joke so I didn't realize I myself was really embaressed infront of god for haveing to literaly be forced into going. But when I got into the church and sat down in the pew (very tiny I might add), I started to feel more comfortable. It kinda put me at peace for a while, I felt as if I was right where I should be.

It was kinda like the feeling you get, when you use to be close with someone, and after not seeing them in years, you unexspectedly run into them, and you really don't know what to say. Not because you don't want to talk to them, but because the akwardness of getting use to never seeing them, and then randomly running into them, just causes you to be like , "oh wow, this is werid, I haven't seen you in years", then walk away. Or atleast, for me it is anyways. Because that also happened to be like a week ago lol.

So anyways, back to my point, im glad god gave me a friend to give me a little extra push to go today, because just being there for the short time that I was, made me feel different. It gave me the little extra push I needed to remember what god has instore for me, how important god is to me, and how much he wants to me realize that. It made me realize that I need to start thinking more posivtivly, and stop worrying so much. I need to be more relaxed about life, and if I can't have alcohol help me out what that, god's the only solution left. And he's the right solution also lol (hes not just my back up). So I feel a little bit better tonight, hopefuly it lasts.
I believe I should start to get back into the swing of things and christian living once again. So i'll update on that a little later.