Mhmm..

Haven't wrote anything in this in a while.
So Christmas was a good time. Got my guitar, not the pink one i wanted though, mines red, and nicer then the one I asked for so im not complainning. Hmm.. so breaks fun? Tonight milah and I hit up the pool hall and a bunch of creepy drunk old men were taking pictures of us and being huge creeps lol so we pealed. And I really don't feel good at the present time.
But anywho, about how I have nothing to say. ha well that sucks. I don't even know why I bothered to write this.

Alyson's Life List of Goals :

1) Guitar Lessons; Check.
2)Book permit test; Check.
3)Get a Job; Never.


Peace.

Cabaret.

Last night was stm's cab. It was so amazing! I had an awesome time and loved every minute of it!

Oh ya know..Stuff.

Im just so damn excited for school to end next week! I can't imagine I will go next after next wednesday. So im lookin at 5 more days until break!:) woo!. I can't wait till christmas to get all my new clothes! I love clothes so much. I can never have to many. Im getting so much for christmas I wont even be able to wear them all on the break probly lol. But oh well, i'll change more then once a day if I have too lol.

Anyways, so in my recent posts I may have sounded confused and such. But im not to sure I am anymore. I think i'v pretty well come to my decision of my prospective on life and such. So thats nice for a change.

C's Party. Heaty Scene.

more pics> www.piczo.com/alyson-leah

Dooley's.

Milah, Clarrissa,Sean, Jon & I pealed at lunch and went to Dooleys, to have probly one of the most funnest afternoons ever! Like it made me want to quit school and just hang out there all day lol. Anyways, unfortunatly, I have lost my touch at pool, and I think I lost like every game I played lol.

Heres some pics..

Anger; Forgivness; Forget

Today in CF, we discused anger and forgivness. Aparently my anger is visable to teachers, because Mrs.Steeves was like "Alyson I know your a hot-head, do you forgive people". I kinda thought she was just joking.. until she said she was seriouse because when she taught last year me I use to get angry in class. Which I informed her, if she thought that was bad..lol she doesn't know the half of it. But anyways, thats besides the point..

So after she asked me this, I never really thought about this before today. Now, I know I have an anger problem, like..atleast im willing to admit that. But I never knew I had a forgivness problem too. Now, when she asked me If I forgive people, or just let my anger eventualy fade out, I answered neither. Now, I mean like, if something happens between me and a person, I forgive them to the extent as im willing to put it aside and move on. But really, It still bothers me. There are people, conversations, and issues from YEARS ago, that I still remember, and although I got over it, It still bothers me. I mean like, if someone betrays your trust, your always gonna wonder "are they gonan do it again"? If someone lies to you numerous amounts of times, sooner or later, your not gonna believe a word that comes out of their mouth. I dunno, I guess with me it's just like, I can forgive, but I rarely ever forget. It's not my fault,I mean, Id love to forget all the shit in my past that doesn't really matter and probly causes half of my anger, but I just..cant. Maby someday, but I dunno. What ever.

See the spaces Inbetween; thats ME.

Why do I do this to myself? Can someone please tell me? I am so fucked up and confused. Like seriously, I don't know what im doing with my life. And I dont think I'll ever know. I just like, Don't understand anything right now. I am having all these thoughts and regrets and things of the sort. One day, im set on an opinion, and the next day im all "hm...I dunno man". Like it's stupid. But im super confused. Like, I want to be content with the opinion that makes me feel better, but how can you be content with someone you know is wrong? Most people like to do the right thing..Well see, thats where me & most people differ. I tend to enjoy doing what's wrong. Why? I have no idea. It's just who I am I guess.

Which brings me to my next topic. This year I have faced alot of thoughts based on "if a person can change". Once again, a portion of the year I believed a person could change, but also, I believed they couldnt. And now im at the stage where i'v believed, thought of and acted upon, both sides of everything. Now I just have to figure out which better suits me. What fun this will be? As if im not stressed out enough lol. FUCK. I have no idea, and I wish I didn't give a shit. But unfortunatly, I have to make a discision on who I am, because I only have a year and a half left in high school, then its out on my own. I don't like the whole, roller-coaster back&forth thing either. I think that just stresses me out even more. What ever I decide will be my final one because im really sick of all this shit, and im not gonna ruin my life over it.

Honors Award Thingy.

Hmm... :)

So, I use to really enjoy writing in this, and when I was bored, it didn't take to much time for me to come up with something to write about. But now, no matter how hard I try, I can't write anything. Iv lost my talent lol. Damnit. Oh well, Im sure I have better talents hidden somewhere under this thick skin. When I decide to reveal them, i'll let you know.

Mmm..Anyways, So life is just so over whelming these days. So much stuff going on. It's a good time though im enjoying it. I just don't even know where to begin with my life. Like jeeze.

It started snowing today, how delightful [lol yeah right, I hate winter so much]. I enjoy presents & no school though. :)

Hmm.. yeah so I guess theres seriously nothing to write about. Wow, my life is just THAT good that I can't complain in here like I usualy do. haha, well I sapose that's a good thing. Im not gonna complain that my lifes too good to complain about.
I have a academic exellence award thingy tomorrow night, so they'll probly be some pics up from that in the up coming week. Other then that, im just prayin for the weekend to get here faster.

Weekend Bitches.

Bonjour. Whats crackin? anywho.

Um, hmm let's see. Life's a good time. Im kinda fed up with alot of stuff though lately, and i'v been really stressed out. But, im join'ing boxing pretty damn soon. So that should be a good time.

So it's oficially december. Jayyyzz, hm.. like 23 days till Christmas? Pimp ass hoe! Im so pumped to get out of school, and get presents:) Wooot. AND je pense que 28 days till RB bitches! Aw hell yeah! I hate december, but love it at the same time! OOHHH MANN!!!im sOOOO excited! AHH!

So weekend what? Oh this weekend was a good time! Game, JJ's at like 10:30 last night? lol[let's all go to the bunks n shoot up]-mk lol, love you! , slept till 2:30 today(sleep well needed)..game, pool [kicked everyones ass]. OH LIFE, how I LOVE the<3.

MD,CS,AW

AW,MK

Assumptions?

So kids, its been a while since iv wrote a blog that has meaning lol. Just updates on my life and such. The goodtimes that it's been! Except for the drama-dram-dram. That is just too middle schoolish for me. But uh anyways, so with all the shit going on, something good finaly comes of it. And its startin to clear up (between most people anyways).

So the main thing I wanted to focus this blog on is, assumption. Girls tend to do it alot, they hear something, and assume its true. We all do it. It's like girls especaily, want to only hear the negative things, and give no room for the good stuff.

So, are rumors worth ruining friendships over? That seems to be a big issue going around right now. People are hearing something, then turning it into something even bigger, without hearing both sides. Well people there are 2 sides to everything you'll ever look at. Wether its a peice of paper, a person, a rumor, a wall.. anything. I don't know, I just think that like, come'on people, were in high school now. We can figure things out for ourselves, handle things ourselves, and figure out who we like and do not like ourselves. If you didn't have any friends in middle school and you want to try and start stuff now, do me a favor... Don't:) Or go back to middle school where people care about that kind of stuff.

Anyways, thanks (you know who you are) for not letting some lie by clearly someone who has nothing better to do with her time, ruin a friendship.

Life is a good time<3

hmm.. middle school anyone?

Oh life, you never seem to phase me.

Good friggin times.

Kv Boys.

Tonight was the randomest but funnest night ever!

Clarrissa and I hung out with Devin, Brent & Jon. We played pool and went bowling lol (Me and Clarrissa kicked ass in bowling by the way)

Girlie Night!

Hello there. So, as you may be able to tell, I'v gone from writing in this atleast once a day, to about once a week lol. I don't really care to much about it anymore, but tonight is something I will write about!

So anywho, tonight we decided to have a girlie night! We all came to my house and took pictures and ate pizza and watched Accepted. (grade 8 deja'vu) It was really fun! All us 6 girls haven't all hung out together in like, well years lol. Anyways, it was a really good time and im glad we did it!

Pics ft. Milah, Chelsea, Clarrissa, Melissa, Mary & myself.

Oh you know.

Yeah so,

I haven't written anything in a couple of days. And to tell you the truth I don't really have anything to say now ethier. My life isn't too much to write about anymore lol. It's a good time though, im enjoying it.

Life stuff.

hello, to anyone who still reads this. Anyways, life has been pretty good lately! Loving it once again. I feel more back to myself now, which is good. And, i just like to mention how much I love rap! lol, I'v taken a lil time away from listening to alot of it and replaced it with christian stuff, but I decided that I missed rap to much lol. It's just like, wow it makes me feel so pumped up and happy. I love it. Plus I also love the song Kidding Ourselves, by Stabilo. Such a good song. Music is important to me. It's how people express themselves. For me, it's how I escape myself. Loud music is a way for me to just, forget about everything, and just focus on the beat of a song.

So enough about that. Report cards today? Blah, who ever invented those suck lol. Im doin alright, ofcourse to my parents, not good enough. It's funny because now that the marks are in, and my lowest mark is a 76, I really find myself not caring about school once again. Until exams again atleast.

Anyways, so since iv kinda, not givin up, but slacked back on the whole hi-ho christian thing, my heads gotten so bad again. Like, back to the first few months it happened. I thought I was finaly starting to get better, aparently god's a little upset with me. That totaly sucks because I haven't been able to consentrate what so ever in school the past few days, and all I want to do is sleep. I constintly feel like I am getting wacked in the back of the head with a baseball bat. It's a very shitty feeling. But what ever I can't please everybody, so I mines well please myself first. And thats just being me, not changing who I am for god to approve of me. I thought he was sapose to love us for who we are? ...anyways, im watching ER and I don't feel so hot so im out. Peace.

Mhmm..

K so my last post regarding my midterms, I got my final one back today. And yes, you wouldn't believe what I go on it! another 76! That is 4 out of 5 of my midterms I'v gotten 76% on them. How weird is that! Stupid if ya ask me, but what ev I'll take it I guess.

Oh by the way! I almost forgot.. I went guitar shopping last night. Well, scouting I should say, for a guitar I want for christmas. Well, I walked into Music Stop, and fell inlove with the first one I saw!It was a pink acoustic! Oh baby! Pink! Like, did they know I was coming or what! lol Anyways heres a picture, (you have to click on it for some reason to see it)

Anywho, life is grand. No complaints thus far.

Were kidding ourselves; so what do you want from me?

Another long weekend, how I love those. I got to sleep in until 12:30 today! It was awesome, I was so drained from midterms and shit this week, so it felt good to regain myself. Oh speaking of midterms, I got ANOTHER 76%, on my history midterm. So thats 3 76%'s so far out of 4. I still have my english one to get back, if I get a 76 im gonna shit lol. Thats just to werid. Not bad though, best marks i'v ever gotten on exams, I usualy fail atleast one, and get like 60's on the rest lol. Goodtimes school is this year.. well not really I just try a bit harder.

Anyways, so I'v decided I just don't care anymore..like at all. I just, don't. It's not worth it, or anything. My heads starting to get better, and when it finaly is 100% good to go, I can get back to my life again. It's been to damn long I tell ya. I'll get my marks up as much as I can now, before I go back to care-free alyson. How I miss her lol. Luckly next semester is going to be easy so I won't have to try much anyways. Im just tired of people telling me who I should be and what I should do. Im in control of my own life, and it's about time I stop listening to other people, and start living for myself. It's not about making other people happy, it's about making me happy. And clearly, im not that happy. Or I wouldn't be writing this.

-alyson.lw

Are you doin her?

K, so yesterday, a bunch of woman kept coming to the class door for Mr.Sheppard. And jon's like, your tappin that aren't ya mr.shep? lol, So funniest thing happened today in chemistry class! Jon: Oh my old womans here, i'll brb!.. Mr.Shep: ARE YOU DOIN HER?!?! aah oh my god, the whole class started clapping lol. Gotta love cool teachers ha.

So yeah I just thought that was funny, I don't really have anything else to say. My life gets more bouring as the days pass by. I find myself having less and less thoughts, arguments, concerns, and cares. Maby thats a good thing, less concerns means less stress. Which I can totaly use right now. Anyways I have to get back to watching the OC! Loving it.


Update November 13th**

K so on friday , Mr.Shep goes, If your going to a party, Hydrogen is who you want to go with, HE'LL DO ANYTHING!!!

haha oh my, Mr.Shep is hilarious, goodtimes with his sexual jokes ha. Love em.

Midterms, woot!

Oh baby! I got my math midterm mark back today. My goal going into it was a 90, and coming out of it, I actuly got a 90! I am so beyond pumped. Im sorry to be all like, I got a 90! But if you know me at all, you may know that I sucked at math my whole life, and have just recently became good at it!So im just really happy that I actuly have goals in school now, because I never have before, caz I sucked at everything. I also got my Chem midterm mark back today. Oh jayys..lol. Um, im not 100% sure but I think my goal going into it was like, atleast passing, but I would have liked to get an 80? Maby it might have been a 70. Anywho, this wasn't so great lol, I only got a 76% on it. But it's better then a pass, lol by 16%, so i'll take it. And I had my history midterm today, which wasn't as bad as I had planed. Actuly I think it went fairely well. It would be nice to get like an 80 on it, considering I figured I was going to fail it. So I duno.

Anywho, Mom and I are headin out to Pizza Hut for some spaghetti for supper!:) Then im not sure but I may peal to youth group after. Okay, peace out.